I dont remember how many letters I have written to you in the 35 years of my life ...some made you laugh, some made you mad and some were surely meant to make you feel good.....this is the only one where I will never know what you felt like after reading it...in fact,I dont even know if you are reading this anywhere.......but surely that doesn't stop me from writing it..because you are there for me and for our family...in every act of ours...just like you always were..
There are everyday events which make me realise that you never left us in lurch.....you lived your life meticulously and things still are the same way when you no longer are with us physically...you taught us in life and you continue to teach us in absentia.I can go on and on about how much we miss you and how tough life is .....but thats not what I wish to talk about..you were with me for 35 years of my life and the rest 35 (if I live as much),I want to live thinking of the good moments and my good fortune of having you as my father.
I read the other day that memories are fine but the problem with them is that you cannot touch them, feel them, hear them and they are never the same as the moment......that is exactly what I miss.......your voice,laughter,the mannerisms,the way you bit your lip when you wrote, the way you washed your face, the way you moved, the way you called us.........so many things which just defined you...
I wear your T shirts, your tie, use your shaving brush, smell the account books you maintained....feeling your presence your touch and smell in it...just pray that the smell doesn't wear off ...please stay in some form...just to give me the strength to stand....to take my step... to move on...life is way too tough alone...but as my uncle said, "A man is born, after his father passes away!' I see a lot of meaning in that.
Things haven't been and never will be the same now that you are not with us.As a doctor, whenever I saw people facing death, suffering and writhing in pain, living a morbid life and waiting for death to call them,I always dreaded it could be me seeing my father suffer like this. Death is inevitable but its only the angels who fly off to heaven, the rest wait their turn suffering and waiting for it to come.You always were an angel and I am glad the same was proven when you left us.
Time will change a lot of things - many say time heals,I don't think anything heals.....we just learn a way to live with the change.All I want is just come to us,Papa,when we really need you....come in some form... in some way...just a flutter in the air would be enough to let us know that you are around...that would give us the strength enough to take the next step...
I read the other day that memories are fine but the problem with them is that you cannot touch them, feel them, hear them and they are never the same as the moment......that is exactly what I miss.......your voice,laughter,the mannerisms,the way you bit your lip when you wrote, the way you washed your face, the way you moved, the way you called us.........so many things which just defined you...
I wear your T shirts, your tie, use your shaving brush, smell the account books you maintained....feeling your presence your touch and smell in it...just pray that the smell doesn't wear off ...please stay in some form...just to give me the strength to stand....to take my step... to move on...life is way too tough alone...but as my uncle said, "A man is born, after his father passes away!' I see a lot of meaning in that.
Things haven't been and never will be the same now that you are not with us.As a doctor, whenever I saw people facing death, suffering and writhing in pain, living a morbid life and waiting for death to call them,I always dreaded it could be me seeing my father suffer like this. Death is inevitable but its only the angels who fly off to heaven, the rest wait their turn suffering and waiting for it to come.You always were an angel and I am glad the same was proven when you left us.
Time will change a lot of things - many say time heals,I don't think anything heals.....we just learn a way to live with the change.All I want is just come to us,Papa,when we really need you....come in some form... in some way...just a flutter in the air would be enough to let us know that you are around...that would give us the strength enough to take the next step...
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