CHEERING INDIA!

I know from the thought of movement to the real move, has taken me quite a time but the positive development is I am here. And am giving my blog the attention it needs. I have lately been off blogging and took a whole year or more,being on the social networking sites. Was on facebook for quite a while but when every friend and relative knew the exact moment I was sneezing,I realised its time to move on to twitter.Like I tweeted once, facebook is the living room,twitter the bedroom and google plus (doubt how many really take it seriously) is the guest room of social networking apartment. While you have all your visitors coming in and being nice on facebook, you can be your true self in twitter ...and google plus,well, how many really use the guest room??
I am pretty unsocial in the real life but thanks to a close friend, I managed to befriend a lady in the last few months,whom I know not much but just through her tweets,.She comes across as a pleasant and a warm person and intrigues me with her journey in India. Today while going through her blog, I realised that being Indian in India when you were not born there is not easy.Its an uphill task. You are not accepted as Indian because you dont 'sound' Indian and you have a whole lot of languages to get the hang of before you can proclaim that you know India. I appreciate her for her bravery in leaving a life of comforts in the West and moving to the hardships of India and travelling in India the way an average Indian does.The fact that she doesnt catch the slums and hunger in India on her camera and pen; or portray India as a land of snakes and tigers is something the non-Indians (I mean NRIs and foreigners by that) need to learn.I dont know her reasons for moving to India, and she must surely have 'not-so-nice' experiences and complaints about the country, but while she is yet to learn her hindi, she has lots which the so called Indians can learn from her.
I have been away from India for more than an year now and seeing the country from the other side, does show me the positives of the country. An Indian, forever flaunts his complaints about the country. Its kind of a fashion to complain and crib about the country. Spit right there and then talk about the lack of cleanliness in India. We all have a lesson to pass to others. What I want to talk is the positives of the country.
For one, the democracy really has a strong hold. Right now being in a country where democracy is yet to find roots, I realise how strong it is in my country.We still follow the rules of democracy no matter what. There are a lot of complaints about corruption and agitation in various forms for the same, but every attempt is to get the same done democratically. We may have 1001 reasons to hate the way the government works- we fight, complain, shout and protest, but still are waiting for the government to complete its term before we can again give our mandate. There are cheats and dirty politicians all over but there are still a few clean ones whom we try to get into limelight. We are democratically oriented, which is a good thing.
Another bright spot for us Indians is that  though God has given less in the sense we deal with cleanliness and traffic sense but given enough to work hard and think harder. We spend a lot of it in dealing with our life and work and so may be are left with less of it when it comes to dealing with the civic sense. But the Indian diaspora all over the world is at the places where brain is needed. Unfortunately, most of us,including me, get frustrated at not getting the opportunity to use it the way we want in India and move to other countries. so we land up being surrogate mothers- develop and nurture ideas but they are never ours to own or used for the betterment of our country.
There is a lot to be done, always will be, and talking about the positives is one of them....and I just did my bit there....:) 

Time To Get Over The Inertia

I am blank in my thoughts as I sit here to write but I am determined nevertheless to write. Its been more than an year since I visited my blog.I dont know if its the lack of thoughts or the lack of drive to puts the thought across which kept me away. Lots has changed and lots more will but somehow I seem to be just a bystander watching  time slip by. Rather I am letting time slip by....As I once mentioned in my tweets, I have so much to do but its all in the thoughts, to get them across into action, I lack the drive and I sometimes ponder if its the same me or someone else that is living in my body. I was never so laid back and boring. Thoughts were brought into action before they could be heard by the person next to me- thats how energetic and interested I was. But lately, I just see myself holding onto those thoughts........how much am I really doing to get that thought in action is something I myself cant answer.
Is it my age which is nearing 40 and the fear to take risks ........to make a move? Is it disinterest or the fear of failure and need to start it all over from a scratch? Its all easy to talk insipiringly, but how much do those thoughts do to inspire someone is really what matters.Words looks wonderful when decorated and lots being said in a line but for me those words have only made a beauty statement ......to make them work in action is what I still am looking for.....Its probably the inertia......the inertia of not having done what I want to-which is taking time to set the ball rolling...
I guess we all get into this mode where we have more advices to give and very less which we really follow. We all have lots to talk but never have an ear to listen.Human nature- thats what it is .. no one to blame for that..But when things go wrong, the finger is always pointing away.......the magnetics of the system of never-accept-failure-as-your-own- thats the physics behind it...
Never really thought I had some thoughts to pen on "sweet salt and bitter" but once I started to write I have managed to set the ball rolling........its time ......to LIVE LIFE.......AND STOP READING AND TALKING ABOUT IT....DO AND LIVE AND ACCEPT THE FAILURES AND SUCCESS WITH EQUAL GRACE....the words are for me and hold no advice for anyone......I am off to take the breath of life and do what I wish to......so until next time....and thats gonna be sooner than the last time I said it......for sure!

Time to be back!

I have been missing from bloggeroom for almost an year now. With facebook and twitter casting its spell on me (like on many others),Iguess I just gave a step motherly treatment to my bloggeroom. But now,its time to move from 140 words of status to pages of flowing thoughts.:)

YES...YOU CAN!

My wife wanted me to help her write an editorial for her school magazine.I came up with this.I don't think she found it good enough for her magazine, but I guess its good enough to have a space in sweetsaltandbitter room.So, here goes..

Yes..you can!

What you think today can be a reality tomorrow and the power to make it happen lies within you. Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try. No matter how high the building, the construction always begins with a single brick.

There was once a boy who loved football. He was never too good at it. But every match that his school played, he would reach the ground and watch his team play.His father knew of his liking  for the game and always encouraged him and joined him everytime he went to watch. The coach took notice of it and when there was a need for an extra player, he took him in. The boy was on cloud nine and called his father immediately to tell him the good news.Tears of joy ran down the cheeks of the proud father. Thereafter, whenever the team and his son played, father would be there in the audience encouraging his son to play better. Unfortunately, the boy was not the best of the players in spite of the sincere efforts he put in the game.Most of the times he would be sitting in the dug-out while his father sat in the audience encouraging him not to lose heart.

While his team was practicing for one of the important match of the season, his father suddenly passed away. Tears rolled down his cheeks and with a heavy heart, the boy asked his coach if he could take the day off practice. The coach told him to take his time and be with his family. The do or die match was the next day. The boy went home crying and thinking about his father who never stopped encouraging him in the game he loved.

The next day, the team was losing badly in the match while the boy watched it. He went to his coach and begged to allow him to join the team. The coach was reluctant as the boy was not a good player but since nothing was working for the team, he gave in. Before long, the coach, the players and everyone in the stands could not believe their eyes. This little unknown, who had never played before, was doing everything right. And the boy won the match from the clutches of defeat for his team.

Finally, after the stands had emptied and the team had left the locker room, the coach noticed that the young man was sitting quietly in the corner all alone. The coach came to him and said, "Young man, I can't believe it. You were fantastic! Tell me what got into you? How did you do it?"The young boy looked at the coach, with tears in his eyes, and said, "Well, you knew my dad died, but did you know that my dad was blind?" The young man swallowed hard and forced a smile, "Dad came to all my games, but today was the first time he could see me play, and I wanted to show him I could do it!"

Most of the important things in the world are accomplished by people who keep trying when there seems to be no hope at all. So,friends never lose heart. If you fail in achieving something a 100 times, you have not lost anything because you have discovered 100 ways of how not to do something and that only reduces the chance of error the next time you do it.Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes,courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow”.

Rules of Condolence

Having gone through one of the most trying situations in my life, the loss of my father recently,I have just realised that when it comes to grief,most people,irrespective of how qualified or well read they are, fail miserably at condoling.We have a rule book about everything,but I guess there is one badly required to make people understand that there are certain rules which we all need to understand and follow while being with the people in grief.
1. Condolence is not about pushing the person in grief to the point of breakdown and making him/her miserable all over again.Most people seem to think that this is the way to condole.One needs help to come out of grief and not to be pushed deeper into it.
2.One needs support, a pillar to fall on but not a pillar which talks about itself.Talking of your own loss and your period of grief,DOES NOT help in bringing down the grief of the person who is currently going through it,nor does it do anything to make him/her feel better.
3.Never make an excuse for not condoling on time.THERE IS NO EXCUSE.If someone matters, there is always some time and space available to convey that you are there with the family who have suffered the cruel blow.
4. Make the condolence message short and just enough to convey what you feel.Beyond that you are just using words which don't matter to anyone.
5.Its a family which has shattered like a piece of glass......to pick up the shreds and get in shape takes time.Give the family the space that they need.Be there when they want....... not when you want.
6.A friend in need is a a friend indeed.We all know this idiom.If someone wants to live by it,this is the time.
7.People call and talk often, thinking they are being of help.Words don't matter after a certain time.......the deeds do....So, if you really have nothing much to offer other than words, keep them to a minimum....believe me, its more pain than help to receive the calls and talk and cry while you are actually trying to find the best way to deal with your loss.
8.Offer views when asked for...... its one thing all like to give for free all the time.This is one occasion, when you can spare the family in sorrow, from it and that will be a big help.
9.Do not analyse the death.........thats the worst way to condole.No one wants it and NEVER EVER do it......spare the family of the torture,they are in hell already.
10.Its very important to use the right words....the worst that I heard was "heartiest condolence".I guess, the person wanted to say "heartfelt or deepest condolence" but miserably messed up in conveying it properly.Your thoughts might be right but make sure,so are the words.

Lastly,the family who has lost their dear one, should realise that no matter what,you can't get back the person you have lost.The only way to go,is to move on.Life doesn't stop for anyone and do not expect that people will be with you forever.......take time, but just enough to give you energy to move on.....standing there and looking back will not change anything.....the tribute to the departed,lies in doing things the way he/she would have wanted you to.

Dearest Papa

Dearest Papa,

I dont remember how many letters I have written to you in the 35 years of my life ...some made you laugh, some made you mad and some were surely meant to make you feel good.....this is the only one where I will never know what you felt like after reading it...in fact,I dont even know if you are reading this anywhere.......but surely that doesn't stop me from writing it..because you are there for me and for our family...in every act of ours...just like you always were..

There are everyday events which make me realise that you never left us in lurch.....you lived your life meticulously and things still are the same way when you no longer are with us physically...you taught us in life and you continue to teach us in absentia.I can go on and on about how much we miss you and how tough life is .....but thats not what I wish to talk about..you were with me for 35 years of my life and the rest 35 (if I live as much),I want to live thinking of the good moments and my good fortune of having you as my father.
I read the other day that memories are fine but the problem with them is that you cannot touch them, feel them, hear them and they are never the same as the moment......that is exactly what I miss.......your voice,laughter,the mannerisms,the way you bit your lip when you wrote, the way you washed your face, the way you moved, the way you called us.........so many things which just defined you...
I wear your T shirts, your tie, use your shaving brush, smell the account books you maintained....feeling your presence your touch and smell in it...just pray that the smell doesn't wear off ...please stay in some form...just to give me the strength to stand....to take my step... to move on...life is way too tough alone...but as my uncle said, "A man is born, after his father passes away!' I see a lot of meaning in that.
Things haven't been and never will be the same now that you are not with us.As a doctor, whenever I saw people facing death, suffering and writhing in pain, living a morbid life and waiting for death to call them,I always dreaded it could be me seeing my father suffer like this. Death is inevitable but its only the angels who fly off to heaven, the rest wait their turn suffering and waiting for it to come.You always were an angel and I am glad the same was proven when you left us.
Time will change a lot of things - many say time heals,I don't think anything heals.....we just learn a way to live with the change.All I want is just come to us,Papa,when we really need you....come in some form... in some way...just a flutter in the air would be enough to let us know that you are around...that would give us the strength enough to take the next step...

Hand of God!

Change of place and terror of using the right words to write trivia is what kept me from coming back to sweet,salt and bitter.But then it just takes a millisecond of a magnetic happening in my life to makes me rush to this iron board to spill my thoughts out.

I don't know if any of you believe in karma,fate and the hand of God.....(I use the phrase because its so suited in the football fever!).I am not too much into spirituality and before you can deduce that I probably fall on spirits and wines in moments of gloom,well,I don't indulge in that pleasure either...But an incident yesterday, really made me feel that there is the Hand of God and his watchful eyes on troubled souls and so here I am talking of it.

I just finished my operations and was heading back home having the satisfaction of made a couple of people's lives a bit better not knowing that my own life was going to be in troubled waters and I mean that literally...Entering into an empty, soulless house (my family just left for home and so the string of pathos in the adjectives that I use..)and did the most normal thing that 1 million people all over the world want to do after coming back... wash my hands.. and lo..panic gripped me when I saw the tap looking as if it had suffered a sudden stroke and landed into unrevivable paraplagia..not a drop flowing down.Panic,fear and all the negative emotions known to man thought of being friendly to me that very moment and I was in doldrums on what to do....it may appear not to be so alarming but it was a saturday......friday and saturday out here in this alien country are the times when even the birds don't chirp because its an official holiday!You aren't allowed to die on these two days because ...cmon.... its a holiday!

So where would I get a soul to find pity on this thirsty,panic stricken human..Anyway, once in water, you got to make an effort to save yourself from drowning (even the metaphors are related to water.. gosh!), so off i treaded along to the hospital administration to pull me out of this quicksand.But what  awaited me there was no mystery.Just a single person in the company of vacant seats around him sat there giving me what-the hell-are -you-doing-here-on-a-holiday look.I got on with the watery saga looking at him as if he was my knight in shinig armour.His reply was just two words "its saturday", enough to make me feel guilty that I had taken a saturday to run my taps dry!

And so I returned to the soulless and now drought struck house borrowing the keys of my friendly neighbour to use his toilet when nature calls (and it sure calls more often when you least want it to!).Resigning to my fate and cursing the water company, I got on with cooking and eating lunch when I had all but decided to rest the aching legs, the door bell rang.
The bell hardly rings in my house except when the garbage is due to be collected in the evening....so wondering who it could be ....I opened the door and BEHOLD....there stands my apartment maintenance incharge standing to ask me if I have any problem......I could almost see a crown with the halo around him and would not have minded accepting him as Lord Krishna, if he had said that .......he is anyway pretty close to being a Godly figure having a name of Mohammed.I just could not believe this stroke of luck.......on a saturday,I have the person whom I have been desparately wanting to meet standing at my door asking me for any complaints without me even writing one.He said it was a routine check.......I was zapped! I just poured out my problem even before I took a breath as I didnt want this to be a dream........ and even if it was let the water flow,Lord, before thy vanish from my sight!!!He heard and he left and the next time I opened the taps, the water was gushing and puffing like a wild boar through the tap...........can't really attribute this stroke of luck to anything else but............. THE HAND OF GOD!